The story of Nicola Coyle
by girlontheborderlines
Summary: My headcanon of why Nicola Coyle was such a headcase in the Chaos Walking series.
1. Old Earth

Is this the human existence?

Hiding in the empty husk of our polluted, damned, hellish world, hoping, _praying_ for salvation?

If you walk down any street you'll see homeless people skulking in alleyways, slowly dying of either radiation poisoning, or lung cancer from the smoggy skies above. Every few buildings is a large, luminescent billboard that plays the same message on a loop over ad over again, no matter what. The government seal flashes proudly across the screen along with a chorus of fanfare cheesy enough to make anyone's eyes roll in their sockets. And then the message in the Governor's deep, resonant voice;

'_Our deep space probes have found a planet…_

_Over fifty years journey away…_

_That can support life…_

_**NEW WORLD!**_

_Uninhabited…_

_Untouched…_

_A brand __**new world**__to call our own._

_Passengers to our new home will remain in hyper sleep until the ships arrive._

_Send in applications to your nearest government office, or apply online._

_NOTE; Only five places for passengers remain, and another twelve caretaker places. Any last minute applications will be accepted.'_

People with ragged clothes and empty faces stand in clusters around each screen, content just to stare at the photos of New World that cycle across the screen, green, rolling hills, vast blue oceans, clear blue skies that they knew none of them would ever see.

"_I wonder what fresh air smells like…"_

Thing is, even though most people would kill to live on New World, fifty percent of them are too scared, consumed with the concern that space travel is just too new, and what if we crash, and what if we go to the wrong place, and what if it's worse that here, what if, what if, what if. That sort of thinking will never get you anywhere. The other forty-nine percent are content in their less-than-mediocre lives. Lord knows why. Me? I'm in that one percent that is willing to take the risk.

I'm sick of living on this awful, godforsaken planet where people can't last five minutes without breaking out into a brawl in the middle of the street, and people die of horrible diseases like Ebola and Gangrene every day, even though the medicine is more advanced than it's ever been. People just can't afford it.

It's days like this where I wish I could go back to the days before the wars, when I was young. Get back to nature.

I would give anything to see my little blue cottage nestled into the hillside over-looking the sea. And suddenly, I'm back there-

Dangling my legs over the cliff, watching the waves crash against the jagged rocks below-

Running through the trees-

Mud squelching between my toes-

Running my fingers over rough tree bark-

Twigs snapping beneath my feet-

A pure, earthy, wonderful smell wafting on the breeze, fresh air flowing through my lungs…

And another air raid swoops over heard, and another round of bombs goes off down town as I slip into a backstreet that leads to my house-

And I hate this place; I really, really hate this place.

I pat the front pocket of my jeans as I slip through the front door and toss my coat aside. Still there.

Home for me is a dingy, one bedroom apartment in the worse-off part of town that I share with my twenty-five year old daughter. The apartments around us are all derelict, abandoned and rotting, and as a result, we don't have to pay rent.

"Nic!" I call as I close the door quietly behind me, and lock it. "Lock the fire escape door and close up all the windows, the bombs have started up again."

"Okay mum!" I hear her yell from somewhere in the darkness. It smells like mildew and rotting wood in here. I reach for the light switch before I remember that there's never any electricity on our street. Force of habit I guess.

Even if there were electricity, it would be far too risky to use it. It would be like painting a target on the roof, lighting a fire, and yelling 'Hey guys, come and bomb us' at the planes flying high above. I don't think they ever really leave. Just hover menacingly just out of sight waiting to swoop in and bomb the hell out of any gathering that looks over a hundred people.

Forget about using the internet. It's all monitored by government agencies anyway. If you so much as search up anything to do with war, weapons, or anything even mildly threatening, they'll trace it back to your address and have you arrested before you even have time to close the tab.

It's why we live the way we do. It's less risky that way.

I reach into my pocket and pull out two envelopes, both complete with the government seal, with Nic's name on one, and mine on the other.

This is it. Do or die.

I break the seal on mine, unfold the thick, plasticy paper and immediately breathe a sigh of relief.

'_Congratulations, Brenda Coyle._

_You have been accepted as a passenger on the first convoy to New World. _

_The departure date is the twenty-seventh of August, three days from now. Bring only the essentials- no ore than a bag or small suitcase weighing two kilograms._

_Report to city hall on August twenty-seventh, and await instructions from there._

_Once you have read this letter, you are considered a threat, and may be charged for treason should you disclose any information about this operation._

_Signed,_

_Governor Clayton'_

I smile, cracking open the other envelope, elation flooding through me as I see the same message with Nic's name on it. Thank god. I know that probably the only reason Nic and I have been accepted is because I've had training as a pilot, and Nic's a gifted healer.

Neither of us are particularly religious like most of the people taking this first flight, we're not rich, and we don't have any connections. It's a wonder we got in.

A miracle. A wonderful, amazing, brilliant miracle.

"Nic!" I call out, hearing her move through the house towards me, "Come quick! I have news!"

She appears out of the darkness in front of me, dark brown hair tucked behind her ears. "Oh my god, mum! Are you okay?" she touches the side of my face, fingers trailing down my arm.

I roll my eyes. "I was caught in the middle of a brawl, again, but listen, there's something I need to-"

"Shush, I'm going to stitch you up before you tell me anything."

She disappeared again, and seconds later re-appeared holding our emergency kit. "Sit still, I'm going to inject some antibiotics into that gash on your forehead, otherwise it could become infected."

There is a sharp pain at my temple as the needle goes in, then a cool, numbing sensation spreads outwards to the rest of my forehead. I sigh.

"Guess what."

Nic rolls her eyes. "What?"

I hold up the letters while she puts away the syringe, "We got in."

"What?" she drops the kit and turns to face me, eyes wide and shocked.

"I said we got in!"

"Really?!"

A broad grin lights up her face, she grabs me by the shoulders and spins me around.

"Oh my god, mum I can't believe it! We're actually going to New World!"

"I know!"

We laugh together, still spinning and jumping and whooping with joy.

Our lives are about to get a whole lot better.

Just three more days.


	2. Boarding

A blank-faced attendant greets us as we board the ship. There's about fifteen identical ships all lined up alongside it, people boarding them just like we are.

There's tension in the air, fear that something could go wrong, but overall, the atmosphere is excited, joyful, and even… hopeful.

"This way, Mrs Coyle and Miss Coyle" he gestures towards a corridor full of hyper sleep units. Some people are already settling down, going to sleep early, keen to erase the memories of Old World and sleep for sixty years.

The ship whirs to life as the last passengers board and make their way towards their designated units. There is a small screen built into the walls of each unit, showing how to activate it. Seems simple enough.

The only people who remain awake now are my daughter and I.

Caretakers stand nearby, anxious, but mostly impatient, waiting for us to go into hyper sleep.

"Mum?" Nic says, excitement, fear, and curiosity plain in her voice. "Can you tell me again what the ocean looks like?"

I smile, and sigh to myself.

"Well, it's vast and blue, so deep that not even the highest skyscrapers could breach the surface from the bottom. If you sit on the beach and close your eyes, you can hear waves crashing on the shore, and smell the salt on the wind. It stretches all the way from one horizon to the next, and feels so big that it could swallow you up without blinking. It's filled with millions and millions of fish and other life. Sometimes when I was young I would swim to the ocean floor on a quiet day and stare at the sun through the water as it rippled and churned above me…"

The caretakers make hurrying gestures to me. We are less than three minutes away from take-off.

"You will get to see an ocean one day, my love. We'll stand on the edge of it and breathe in all its glory. On New World. A new world of our making."

Nic smiles at me, her 'you're so cheesy' smile.

"I love you, mum. I'll see you in sixty years."

She leans over and slips something smooth and round into my hand, then she lays down and pulls the glass dome over her body, the seals clamp shut with a hissing noise, and Nic falls asleep.

I uncover the small wooden object sitting in my hands. It's a thick, wooden bracelet with B.C carved into the underside. On the top is a series of complicated patterns and swirls. It's beautiful. I slip it onto my wrist and glance at the ship around me.

Now it's my turn.

I lay back, pull the glass dome towards me, and let myself drift off into the deepest sleep I'll ever have.


	3. New World

_Hiss_

I am jerked awake.

A frightened looking face I've never seen appears before my eyes.

"Wazgonon?" I mutter, rubbing my eyes, "Are we there yet?"

"Sort of" the person- the man, grabs me roughly and jerks me to my feet, de-pressurising Nic's unit too, "We're crashing."

"What?!" I say, instantly awake, watching the chaos around us.

"The cooling procedure failed, the engines are on fire, we're crashing. At our current trajectory, we'll nose-dive right into the ocean."

Nic sat up, groggily rubbing her eyes. "Wait, what?"

I grimaced. "You need me to help you steer us somewhere safer, don't you"

He nodded, and tugged me to one side. "We looked into your records and they said you'd trained as a pilot when the wars started. Driving a spaceship is mostly the same. There are injured people, too. We need your daughter to heal them."

I looked at Nic, my Nic, and gulped down a huge breath of air.

"Ok."

Twenty minutes later, nothing is getting any better. All the automated systems are down, there is mass panic amongst the caretakers. Crash is imminent.

I give up. The only thing I can really do anyway is try and put out the fires in the engine rooms, but even then the engines are all fried. I have to find Nic.

Running through the ship, I try to find her, screaming her name as people run to and fro', trying in vain to find a solution to the warnings flashing on every screen.

If we were crashing on land, there would be a chance that some people would survive, enough to wake up the people in hyper sleep and lead them to the other ships. But into the ocean?

We're all going to drown…

Except…

I find her in the infirmary, trying to treat people who are severely burned, and with just one look at them I can already tell none of them will make it.

I pull her away from the other nurses and steer her down corridors, ignoring her protests. "Let me go, mum" she yells, trying to wrench herself out of my grip, "They need me! If I don't get bandages on those burns, they're all going to die!"

I snort. "We're all going to die anyway."

"What do you mean?" she stops struggling for a second and turns to me, eyes wide.

"I mean, there's nothing we can do to stop from crashing into the ocean."

We stop at the end of a long hallway. A sign above us says 'escape pods'.

I shove her into one of the only escape pods and slam the door closed.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" she screams through the glass, banging her fists against it, panic igniting in her eyes as she realises what I'm doing.

"Saving you."

She shakes her head, hair fanning out wildly as she does, "Come with me!"

Now it's my turn to shake my head. "Automated systems are toast. Someone has to stay behind and pull the manual switch. That's me, sweetheart."

"No!" she yells, and tries opening the door, which is pressurised by now, "I'm not leaving you alone!"

"You must. You hear me, Nicola Coyle?"

"No…" she whimpers, tears starting to slip from her eyes, her breath clouding the glass, "Please, no, NO! MUM!"

"I love you" I mouth to her, tears pricking my eyes, "You're going to do great things in this world."

"MUM!" she screams, and bangs on the window harder, "DON'T DO THIS, YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME! PLEASE!"

I glance at the manual latch only centimetres away from my fingers and meet Nic's eyes, holding them. "I'm sorry."

I pull the latch, and watch the escape pod slowly move down the shaft, my daughter screaming, crying, and throwing herself desperately at the glass.

I turn away. Head back to the cockpit. I watch from the main windows as the escape pod shoots down towards the land and hits it a few kilometres away from the shoreline.

As we get closer to the ocean, people start calming down. Accepting their fate. We've done far too little, far too late, and now we, and all the other people who remain asleep on board, will die.

The sea rises up to meet us…

A cold, calm, blue embrace…

And we slam into it.

At first, we seem to float.

But then…

Water rushes in, engulfing people, ripping the strong metal hull apart, sucking people out into the open ocean.

The current jerks me from side to side, bashing me against the glass window before pulling out of the huge gap in the hull after the other caretakers. The air is sucked out of my lungs.

_**Eat…**_

The bracelet slips off my wrist and drifts upwards, towards the small, distant spec of sun so far above me…

_**Eat…**_

Dark shapes dart around me. They're _huge_. And they sound hungry. And I'm drowning I'm drowning I'm-

_**Eat…**_

But wait, what is that?

_**Eat…**_

People around me are being picked off one by one by giant creatures swimming through the water, towards me, too…

I turn my attention towards the surface again and close my eyes. I'm dying. I can feel my body shutting down-

_**Eat…**_

A fast current and _**whoosh**_ and **Nic!** and darkness and _**crunch**_ and pain and darkness and gone gone gone gone go-

Nicola Coyle walked aimlessly for two days before she found the colony under the waterfall that was in progress of being built. She was welcomed back with open arms. Everyone grieved for their lost brethren.

Nicola refused to give up hope. She knew that somewhere, her mother was still alive.

It wasn't until she and a small party of colonists journeyed to the ocean to establish a sea-side town that she finally gave up. She found the bracelet she'd given her mother before they left Old World washed up on the beach.

Something inside her snapped.

She was never quite the same again.


End file.
